I like how every kid has their own secret language that only their parents can understand. This is more evident when children are just learning to talk. It’s not just a matter of decoding mispronounced syllables. It really is a mysterious language of grunts that few people can decipher. Since I’m the one who spends more time with the girls, it feels extra special when Aya doesn’t even have a clue what they are saying, but I do.
It was a cloudy, gloomy, rainy day. Chloe was away at school, but Ellie had the day off. Chloe is used to Ellie being gone at school, but not the other way around. It had been a long time since Ellie and I were alone together for a length of time. Needless to say, she was a bit lonely and anxious for Chloe to come home and play.
Today you are three! You still think you are two, and you insist that five is after three, but only in regards to your age. You also insist that “Chloe” starts with an “E.” We’ll work on it. This is going to be your year. I can feel it.
*photo byÂ Ksenija Savic Photography
This week I celebrate five years as a stay-at-home dad. FIVE! While five years might not be that big of a deal to some people, I found it worthy of a celebration. If I was at a professional job for five years, I’d want to acknowledge it. Just a simple lunch with a few coworkers is all I’d want.
I went into this job energetic, excited, and a bit naive. At the time, my paying job wasn’t very fulfilling. The economy had tanked and so did our industry. My company was handing out pay decreases instead of raises, and instead of doing my job I was archiving in the basement. I knew the inevitable was most likely going to happen and I nervously welcomed it. I wanted control of my every day, and of my life. I knew staying home to take care of Ellie and manage the house wasn’t going to be easy, but I was excited for the challenge and was ready to go all-in.
The moon nightlight shined brightly as the gentle piano sounds of George Winston calmed the room. Ellie was fast asleep excited for a sleepover at Grandma’s house the next day. Chloe was still awake but softly singing to her doll waiting for sleep to take her. I feigned a smile at Chloe, hoping it’d be soon that she drifted off for I had something else on my mind. The room was peaceful, and calm. The time was fairly early too. If this was happening on any other day I’d be preparing for a bedtime victory party with my open evening. But all I could picture was that motionless body quietly circling the tank with that blank stare looking out into nothing.