It’s that time again. To have another magical mythical person/creature come into my kid’s bedroom in the middle of the night. It’s time for the infamous Tooth Fairy to grace us with her presence, again. To sprinkle her tooth glitter and magically collect some teeth. The Tooth Fairy was quite busy over here for a while with Ellie. She’s already lost eight baby teeth. But lately, Chloe has been dropping some teeth. To see Chloe so proud and so excited to have a visit from the Tooth Fairy is just so cute. She even had Ellie help her craft a letter .

“Dear Tooth Fairy,

I know this is a little crazy but another tooth came out! So can you please give me a toy & banana flavored gum? If you can’t give me the gum, I’m ok with a toy. And please don’t take my tooth.

Ple—–ase!

Chloe”

Obviously, she has been heavily influenced by her older sister. But gum?! Toys!? What kind of operation do they think the Tooth Fairy runs? I think they are getting all of these magical nighttime lurkers confused. It was time to set them straight.

First of all, the Tooth Fairy is a supporter of proper dental hygiene. Handing out sugary gum doesn’t seem like something she would do. I don’t think her boss, Margaret (or Marge, as she’s called by the other fairies), would approve of this. I think something like this would cause a ruckus with the other magical beings, too. Easter Bunnies, Leprechauns, Elves. Candy is kind of their thing. And if it got out that the Tooth Fairy was going rouge slipping a little gum under pillows, the American Dental Association might have to step in as a third party regulator. And do we really want that? I don’t think so.

Secondly, Santa and the elves definitely have the monopoly the concept of handing out toys. We all know Santa is king when it comes to toys being left by strangers in the middle of the night. That’s definitely above Marge’s pay scale to get in the middle of that racket. Plus, it could come with some major consequences. We all know what happens when you go head to head with Santa. Just look at what happened to Thanksgiving.

So, if the Tooth Fairy isn’t handing out gum or toys, what does she give? Well, according to the original tooth fairy poll, the going rate in 2018 is $4.13 per tooth. But since Chloe requested that the fairy not take her tooth, I think that warrants a major price drop (which makes perfect sense) to $1.00. And getting a dollar for giving nothing is still a pretty amazing deal. Also, for first time lost teeth a toothbrush is left in addition to the dollar. Not a bad take away from just losing a tooth.

I can appreciate Chloe’s effort in trying to finagle some extras. But she’s just too young to understand the complex workings of the fairy world. I was more than glad to help her sort this out.

What does the Tooth Fairy bring in your house?

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