This time last year, we made the decision that I would no longer be an unemployed dad, but officially be a stay-at-home dad. And here I am a year later, still happy we made that decision. It started out slow and cold with a winter that felt like it would never end, but it ended up being a really good year with a lot of growth, both physical and emotional. It didn’t seem like it in the moment, but looking back, a lot happened. From the insignificant, to the noteworthy, to the unexpected (good and bad), it all piled up to be quite the year.
CHRISTMAS EXPECTATIONS
My Christmas morning started at 3am when I went to bed and woke up at the same time.
To say I didn’t have any expectations this year, whether intentional or subconscious, I’d be lying. It’s just what I do. I build images in my head. Last year for Christmas, Ellie was sick. And in addition to being sick, she was barely a year old and didn’t quite get the whole Christmas thing at all. But this year, she knew(okay, I trained her to know) what a snowman was, could point Santa out on the Christmas tree, and she was excited at the site of seeing wrapped presents. So even though I knew she wouldn’t be tearing down the stairs in the morning with super excitement quite yet, I still had a certain image in mind of what this Christmas would be like. But just as life with a toddler is, not many things go as expected.
PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS
The first step is admitting you have a problem. I don’t have a problem myself. It’s more so that Ellie does and because of that, it’s become my problem. I’ve been in denial for some time now, but I’m realizing I can’t ignore it anymore. I can’t look the other way and pretend it doesn’t exist. Hi, my name is Matt and I have a problem. I sleep on the floor next to my daughter’s bed all night so she will sleep.
THREE-TWO-TWO-ONE
My good friend Haniyyah was going to be in town visiting her sister-in-law, Ayesha, for a few days. Also in town was Haniyyah’s other sister-in-law, Fatima. Ellie and I were invited over for lunch with the group. (Actually I think I invited myself over) All of us have kids. Fatima’s daughter Aliyah, 5 months, is the youngest, then Ayesha’s son, Abdullah, is almost a year, then Ellie at 18 months, and then the oldest at two years old is Haniyyah’s daughter, Zayna. Three women, two babies, two toddlers, and me. There are a lot of Y’s and H’s in those names, did you get all that?
YOU GIVE ME FEVER
Everybody has their ups and downs. It’s unavoidable. And for me, most often those fluctuations are over typical stuff and usually so small that they aren’treally a big deal. But I’ve found that the emotions of an almost-two-year-old can be unpredictable and all over the place. DUH, right? I try to be steady and consistent, but sometimes her roller coaster ride can suck me in and make my emotions equally as extreme. I can go from laid back easy going sipping on my coffee, to pulling my hair out, to wanting to cry in just seconds. Yes, mood swings. I know, where’s the Midol, right? Some days more than others, but every once in awhile, there really is a reason for her volatile moods.