It had been awhile since I had seen my friend Meghan.  We used to be coworkers and worked on a lot of projects together, so we got to be pretty good friends after awhile.  When we sat next to each other, every day she would ask me, “do you wanna be friends forever!?”  Yes Meghan, that sounds good.  Then she would specify, “not BFFs…  just FFs.  BFF’s would be too crazy.”  Right Meghan, that would be too crazy.  Meghan is my unique exotic friend.  She’s from an exotic country where they eat ketch-up chips, and things named “poutine.”  Yes, you guessed it, Meghan is from the Great White North.  She’s Canadian.  Eh.  Meghan was going to be in our friendly country and wanted to come by and visit me and Ellie.  We originally had planned on taking a walk down by the river but the weather was cold and rainy.  So we did the next best thing, we headed for the mall.  I was excited because this would be Meghan’s first mallwalking experience.

When I met Meghan at the mall I wasn’t greeted with a hello, but a, “I just saw a serious mallwalker!  This lady meant business.”  I told you, this is how it goes here.  We didn’t waste anytime and got right into it.  I set the pace and the wheels were rollin’.  Meghan started to chit chat about school this and drunk party that, but I was focused on where we were going to have our afternoon snack.  I interrupted her so I could point out the Dairy Queen and the Pretzel Peddler.  I just wanted her to know her options, that’s all.

We continued our stroll throughout the mall not hiding the fact we were mallwalking.  We’d get to the end of the corridor and confidently loop around.  We didn’t even go into any stores for cover.  Maybe it’s because I wasn’t alone, or because I felt like I was showing my Canadian friend around, but I didn’t feel embarrassed or the need to hide my mallwalking.  I was a mallwalker and proud of it…  kinda.

We must have looped the mall at least four times before deciding on a snack.  I made Meghan decide because she was not only a guest in my mall, but the country.  Her choices were Diary Queen, Subway, Cinnabon, Olga’s, the Pretzel Peddler, Sbarro, Pretzel Time, and Big Boy.  As we were walking towards the pretzel place we saw a Big Boy and Meghan said, “They have a Big Boy!?  In the mall!”  This Big Boy had been at the mall since it opened in 1970, and I think it’s never been updated since then either.   I think Meghan really wanted Big Boy but she felt bad putting me in front of a menu with ice cream sundaes as an option (I had recently come clean about my food affair), so she chose Pretzel Time.  I was secretly hoping for Dairy Queen but Meghan had announced earlier she didn’t want ice cream.  She’s lactose intolerant and didn’t have her pills with her.  We all know what happens when lactose intolerant people have dairy without their pills…  I gave up my fanatasy of ice cream, but when we got to the pretzel place, I got one with a hot dog in it.  We kept on walking.

Ellie was sleeping this whole time which was awesome because she hasn’t been napping well.  This was a good break for me.  Good company, good walking, and a good pretzel.  But every time we looped by the Big Boy I could see Meghan’s eyes checking out the sign.  She finally decided she needs to eat dinner before her class and might as well stop there.  So we concluded our mallwalking journey at the Southland Mall Big Boy.  Apparently they don’t have Big Boy’s in Canada or at least not where Meghan lives.  She had a hankering for the exotic taste of American food and I was glad I was able to provide.  She was overwhelmed with the menu.  It was her chance for Big Boy’s but she wasn’t sure what to get.  I was overwhelmed as well but for completely different reasons.  I REALLY wanted the hot fudge brownie cake, but I just announced that I need to get my eating under control AND I just had a pretzel with a hot dog in it.  I stared at the menu trying to channel some will power.  Finally, I announced I would be getting a cup of broccoli soup.  Just a cup, and even though the ice cream sundae was only a dollar more, I let it go.  After 20 minutes of agonizing of what to order, Meghan went for the classic.  The Big Boy burger.  To top off the afternoon Ellie woke up at the end to enjoy the Big Boy experience.  This was her first Big Boy visit as well.

Since Meghan had a full American experience, maybe next time Ellie and I will put on our tuques and make the journey up north for some twofers, Tim Horton’s, and some poutine.  Maybe not though…  After all, we’re just FFs, not BFFs.


  1. Hey Matt!
    I'm so excited that you've done this blog. I've kind of abandoned mine but am trying to go back to it. Your blog is awesome!

  2. matt – even though we ARE only FF, i think a canadian date with ellie is essential! you should expose her to as many 'exotic' cultures early on in her life as you can. and if we include haniyyah and zayna, it would be an 'exotic destination baby UEP!' … sounds fun to me!

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