I was at a child’s birthday party at Saddam Hussein’s house. Yes, Saddam Hussein. Â And we were the only two guys there. Just my luck. And he was so excited that he wasn’t the only one. So excited that he kept me in the kitchen while the moms and kids partied in the other room. “Come, please sit, and eat,” he offered with a warm smile but slightly awkward.
I got the feeling he wasn’t used to being a host. He just kept offering me food and beverages. “Please, eat more cake. We have plenty! How about some punch? It’s delicious!”
It didn’t take me long to realize we had nothing to talk about, and I really wanted to be away from him and in the other room with my family. But when I went to get up he said, “Sit, please… Sit.”
But based on the look in his eyes, I kind of got the feeling that I shouldn’t argue or disagree with him. So what do you talk about with a deceased dictator who is force feeding you cake? I’ll be honest, I had a lot of questions in my mind (one being, “Aren’t you dead?”), but I decided to not ask them. They probably wouldn’t have gone over too well anyway. So we just sat there politely smiling at each other while muffled sounds of laughing children came from the other room.
I finally decided to make my exit and when I politely thanked him for his hospitality and said I had to leave, he interjected, “You can’t leave yet!? The Beatles are coming to play!”
The Beatles!? As in all the Beatles? Where are we?
It turns out it was just Paul McCartney, who happened to be on tour and was “stopping by.” I guess when a deceased former dictator asks you to play at a birthday party, you really can’t say no.
When Paul entered he looked less than thrilled. “Hello Saddam, of course it’s no trouble. I play parties all the time,” he said while almost rolling his eyes.
I felt bad for him, but I was also kind of excited. Paul McCartney! I was going to see Paul McCartney live! At Saddam Hussein’s house? …Â I would have preferred the Fox Theater, or maybe my house, but I’ll take what I can get.
After Paul set up, he looked at me with a look that said, “Get out now kid. Get out while you can.”
Fortunately, that’s when I woke up, but too bad it was before I even got to hear him play.
Hopefully my next opportunity will be under better circumstances.