It started out like any other morning. After Ellie wakes up, I usually give her a bottle and then I change her diaper. But before I put her clothes on, I go take a shower. If I don’t do it then, it probably won’t happen at all. While I shower, Ellie plays in the bathroom with just a diaper on. She has her toys, or she usually just sits there chatting to herself. I’m pretty quick, so it’s not long at all that she needs to entertain herself. But like I said, it started out like any other morning.
SWIM CLASS: FIRST SESSION
You would think that after going through a practice swim session in the bathtub with Ellie that I would have been mentally prepared for the real deal. I was not even close. I had been dreading the first class ever since I signed up. And on the eve of the first class, I was thoroughly anxious and nervous. Nervous was an understatement. I couldn’t sleep. I had weird dreams all night. You know that wrestler, Randy Savage, from the Slim Jim commercials? Well, in my dream he busted through the wall saying, “snap into a Slim Jim! OOH YEAH!” and then he chased me through the house into the street, and through the neighborhood, and then back into my house. It doesn’t take a therapist to figure that one out. I woke up exhausted, irritable, and not looking forward to swim class.
WHERE’S MY FLOWERS?
Today is Mother’s Day and all my mom friends are going to be getting breakfast in bed, foot rubs, spa gift cards, and bouquets of flowers. That’s great and all, but what about me!? I take care of Ellie all day, every day. I make her food and feed her. I put her down for naps (which I busted my butt to be able to do). I dress her, read her books, and take her for walks. Play dates, mallwalking, story time, I do it all. I cook, I clean, and I do the laundry. So I have one question. Where’s my freakin’ flowers!?
GOOD DAY SUNSHINE
I did it. I survived my first winter as a stay-at-home dad with my daughter, Ellie.
Actually, I thought I survived it many times. How many spring fake outs did we have this year? It seems silly with it being May to even mention the word “winter,” but not that long ago, we were still battling the cold repressive hand of Old Man Winter. I’ve never been one to be really affected by the weather. Winter always felt like it dragged on a little bit, but it’s never put the smack down like it has this year. And even though I think I may have the happiest, smiliest kid on the planet, this winter was a cranky stubborn mule, and it had me down.
SUNNY WITH A CHANCE OF CRAZY
Having a kid is like predicting the weather. You can make a good guess on how a day or week might be, but that’s all it’ll be; a guess. You can bring out the Doppler radar, analyze the infrared graphs and check the barometer. You can plan your week, or day, around the evidence you’ve compiled, but you’ll most likely be wrong. And be wrong for no reason.