It started out NOT like any other morning. I was up way too late the night before, so when morning came around, I was not feeling it. I remember Aya leaving at 6:30am saying “I think Ellie is starting to wake up.” I grumbled okay, and fell back to sleep.
UH OH
It started out like any other morning. After Ellie wakes up, I usually give her a bottle and then I change her diaper. But before I put her clothes on, I go take a shower. If I don’t do it then, it probably won’t happen at all. While I shower, Ellie plays in the bathroom with just a diaper on. She has her toys, or she usually just sits there chatting to herself. I’m pretty quick, so it’s not long at all that she needs to entertain herself. But like I said, it started out like any other morning.
WHERE’S THE TOILET?
Bathrooms in Japan are pretty interesting. First of all, the toilet is in it’s own room. You open a door to a room about the size of a linen closet and you’ll find a toilet… and that’s it. I found this troubling on my first trip to Japan to meet Aya’s parents. Not only was I meeting them for the first time, but I’d be living with them for ten days. The bathroom situation can always be tricky when you’re meeting people for the first time. After you meet your girlfriend’s parents, you don’t want to be that guy who kills the bathroom. This was a major concern as I knew I’d be eating all kinds of food I’d never had before, some of which were raw. I had no idea how my stomach would handle that situation. I was really counting on the “shower mist” maneuver. You know, when you “go” right before you take a shower. No matter what happened in there, the shower mist would cover it all up. But with the toilet being in it’s own room the size of a closet located far away from the shower, operation “shower mist” wouldn’t work. We all got to know each other really well.
IS THAT A BABYRUTH?
Every day, Ellie likes to start off her day with a nice dump. Every morning when I come in her room to greet her, she’s already had her morning poop. But on this one particular day, the term “morning poop” would not do what I saw justice.Â
First of all, when I walked into her room the stench overwhelmed me. My knees buckled and my vision blurred. Even though the curtains were shut and the room was dark, I acted as if there was a bright light. I squinted my eyes and put my hand out as if to shield my eyes from the light. After I waded through the dense hazy air to get to her crib, I noticed that she looked thinner. She had an extra bounce in her step. Did you lose weight? I thought. When I opened her diaper you could hear shrieks. Whatever was hiding in there, I had just let it out! And what I saw was absolutely incredible. How one little person can crap their entire body weight is beyond me. Needless to say, it was not her typical morning poop. She had somehow killed the devil in her sleep and trapped him in her diaper. I was horrified and closed one eye trying to limit my view. She had beets for dinner the night before, and it turns out they look the same coming out as they do going in. I didn’t want to breathe through my nose or my mouth. She smiled at me with pride though. “I did that! All by myself.” Of course she felt good. Why wouldn’t she after producing something like that? Even after the clean-up, she desperately needed a morning bath.
ELLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how she does it. And so I feel better about it, I take it as a compliment.
Ellie will be at my mom’s all day and poop maybe once. On the weekend when Aya handles most of the diapers, Ellie will poop maybe once. The rest of the week, all day every day, EVERY time I change her diaper, she has a fresh batch out of the oven waiting for me. “I found the Golden Ticket.” Lucky me…