Matt Dad Stuff, Inner Monologue, Pregnancy

FEAR FACTOR: PREGNANCY AND THE TERMINATOR

So far with this pregnancy, I often forget that Aya’s pregnant. I know, I know, it’s been almost 8 months. It’s not that I forgot or don’t care, it’s just that there are so many more distractions than last time. Ellie has me working extra hard these days so I’m not thinking too much, “Hey we’re having a baby soon! Ahh!”

It’s more like, “Eh, been there done that, we’ll be fine. We’ll readjust when the baby arrives.”

I don’t seem to have that fear of the unknown this time. Or do I? Am I holding things in, burying them deep within my subconscious to come out later unexpectedly, in crazy ways, like in my dreams? I guess maybe. I have noticed my dreams getting a little crazier than usual lately. Especially one in particular.

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Matt Child Birth, Dad Stuff

BIRTH: PART THREE (Her Side of the Story)

I think the worst part about the contractions was the pressure. It was one thing when it was in its Beethoven subwoofing stage. Kind of like when the orchestra is tuning before the concert begins and you just hear a mosh of instruments gradually getting louder and louder…and then dissipating. As the contractions were getting more and more intense, there were definitely more horns in the mix, but again, it felt like a huge wave. And then the conductor decided to add more tubas. And bassoons. AND A GONG. All at the same time! And you’re sitting in the front row. Well, you get the idea. It was a big hot mess. Continue reading “BIRTH: PART THREE (Her Side of the Story)” →

Matt Child Birth, Dad Stuff

BIRTH: PART THREE (My Side of the Story)

The waiting, which felt like an eternity, was finally over. It felt like we had been awake and at the birth center for days. But in reality, we were only there for 6 hours before it was declared that it was time to “have a baby.” The moment we had prepared for was here. The head midwife came in, along with an assistant and turned the lights up. They meant business. Aya got into the tub on her knees. The midwife put a mirror in the tub and shined a flashlight on it so they could see the “area.” I was on one side of the tub facing Aya. Two midwives and an assistant were behind Aya on the other side staring in the mirror. Aya’s breathing and contractions were getting more intense and I just tried to stay calm.  Continue reading “BIRTH: PART THREE (My Side of the Story)” →

Matt Child Birth, Dad Stuff

BIRTH: PART TWO (Her Side of the Story)

The Universe was ready for me to go into labor that day. Despite of leaving right before rush hour and driving through a usually very congested freeway on our way to the Greenhouse Birth Center, not only was the weather relatively comfortable and clear(in the middle of a Michigan January), but so were the roads. I always wondered about freaking out dads-to-be driving like maniacs as their laboring wives thrashed and moaned in the passenger’s seat on their way to the hospital. If they were driving really crazy and got pulled over, if the cop realized they were a couple about to have a baby would he/she drop the ticket and lead the way for them? Well, we didn’t need an escort for our 90 mile journey. Matt was a fantastic driver. Driving one handed, while having his other hand in a death grip by me the entire way. I couldn’t handle any bumpiness so he was steady, calm, and reassuring. 90 miles is a long way to keep composure when you have a woman in labor sitting next to you.

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Matt Child Birth, Dad Stuff

BIRTH: PART TWO (My Side of the Story)

As soon as we got in the car the contractions jumped to four minutes apart. It was so precise, I could have set my watch to them. It was actually really amazing. The car ride was very quiet. We had some mellow zone out music on and neither of us spoke. Every four minutes she would squeeze my hand until it turned blue, and then she’d relax.  This was the pattern for the next hour and a half until we arrived at the birth center. Continue reading “BIRTH: PART TWO (My Side of the Story)” →