Cleaning the house. We all have to do it at some point.

Some people like to do it, some people despise it, and some people, whether they like to or not, that little voice in their head won’t let them rest unless everything is in its place and cleaned.





I actually don’t mind cleaning that much. There are certain tasks that I do hate, but for the most part it’s not too bad. I feel like I’m pretty fast and efficient at it. But I do feel my wife and I have two very different cleaning styles.

There are various levels of cleaning in a house.

There is the maintenance clean. When you just put the big things away, vacuum and then wipe down the counters. Then you have the fake deep clean. This is usually when you are expecting company and you don’t have time for a deep clean, but you need to make it look like a deep clean. You’ll clean the bathrooms and then just fake it with the rest of the house. So you’ll put that big pile of clutter you don’t know what to do with under a chair, or shove them in a cabinet out of sight.

You know when you were a kid and you shoved everything under the bed? It’s the same thing. And then of course, there is the real deep clean. That’s when you really give everything a thorough scrubbing. The inside of the microwave, the oven, the top of the refrigerator, etc. The deep clean is where I shine.

My wife is excellent at the maintenance clean because she has a very low threshold for clutter and disorderliness in the house. I can live in filth for a much longer time than she can. But when I reach my threshold, I skip the maintenance clean and go straight into the deep. Lately, the house has been a disaster due to some home projects we have been working. And since we are finally finishing up, we were both ready for the house to have a deep clean.

When I do the deep clean, I go all out. For example, we have a black stove that leaves streaks if you use normal cleaners. And for the most part, I don’t care, but about once a month it really bugs me. My wife is great with the wipe down, but she doesn’t have the patience or the technical know-how to clean the stove the way I do.

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I found a cleaner that is like car wax but for your stove. You apply it with a small cloth, let it dry for a minute and then rub it clean. Then I buff out any streaks with a microfiber cloth. I’ll soak the metal grates in a hot de-greasing bath while I do this. That thing sparkles like she’s brand new when I’m done. And after that, it’s time to go inside the oven. I’ll pull out all the shelving racks and unscrew the bottom metal pan so I can get all that sludge build-up.

It’s the same thing with the floors. Normally a vacuum and a light Swiffer is the norm. But about once a month, I get on my hands and knees and polish the wood floors. Most recently I used an electric buffer to try to remove that extra dirt build-up. That was kind of fun actually.

As for the other chores, they aren’t too bad.

Vacuuming is just like an indoor version of cutting the grass (which I don’t mind). The bathrooms aren’t really that bad, and dusting is pretty easy. Speaking of dusting, I find it funny that with my wife, being a type “A” neat nick, rarely dusts. She’ll wipe down counters and the table, but that’s about it. It’s like she doesn’t notice it. She’ll microwave the dish sponge to disinfect it, but doesn’t dust. We all have different priorities, I guess.

Dusting happens to be another one of my specialties. That used to be one of my main chores as a kid, at my parent’s and my grandpa’s house. I’ve clocked many hours with a can of Pledge and an old T-shirt dusting. So I’d consider myself an expert now. Dusting horizontal and vertical surfaces, spindles, picture frames, lampshades and even light bulbs. You’d be surprised at some of the places dust builds up. But I only bring out those intense dusting skills for the deep clean. Otherwise, I dust like a lazy man and go around everything.




It’s funny how I’ll gladly clean the inside of the oven, but I detest changing the sheets. Or I’d prefer to do the dishes instead of transferring the clothes from the washer to the dryer. It doesn’t make sense to me, but that’s how it is. I also hate . But laundry is a different category of cleaning all together. I don’t consider it part of cleaning the house.

I do have to say, it is a good feeling when the house is spotless from top to bottom. But sometimes my wife gets a bit too obsessed and takes it to a whole different level. Her pupils dilate and she gets this crazy look in her eyes and she starts hunting. Hunting for more things to clean. That’s what makes us different. While she starts cleaning out her purses with her crazy eyes, I do the other thing I’m good at in the deep.

Sleep.

2 thoughts on “GOING INTO THE DEEP

  1. this sounds EXACTLY like Adam and me… Adam only cleans once in a while, but when he does its the “deep clean.” I’m the maintenance cleaner… I thought it was only us!

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