Every couple of months, Aya’s mom sends us a care package that always has a few Japanese books for Ellie. I’m always excited to open the package even though I can’t read anything. I like to look through the books first and try to figure out what they are about. Occasionally, I get it right, but sometimes one comes along that leaves me extremely puzzled. Like when I saw the cover of this book, I wondered, “Is that what I think it is? Nooo, it couldn’t be.” But as I looked further into the book, I just got more confused. Take a look!
THE BABYSITTER?
I know our arrangement at home isn’t considered “typical” in most situations. Mom goes to work and dad stays home. It’s nothing that’s unheard of, but it’s not very common either. I accept that. I accept the comments from strangers at the grocery store when they assume I’m “giving mommy a break.” My inexperience and insecurities really ate at me and made me feel alone and isolated early on, but after some time, and with some gained confidence, it doesn’t really bother me too much anymore. I have a good network of people around me that have been nothing but supportive of what I do and how I do it. And because of that, I feel a lot of my insecurities about how my role is being perceived by the public are mostly in my head than they are actually true.
But recently I learned that the U.S. Census Bureau counts fathers as a form of child care for mothers. Huh? I’m just a babysitter?
THE BATTLE RAGES ON
Just after the New Year, I went to work to realign Ellie’s sleep schedule. It was a weeklong event complete with unexpected plot twists and turns. But in the end, I had made major progress and had continued it for the week after too. But just as we were building up momentum to seal the deal, she’d get a cold, or Bruce the Molar King would show up again. So here we are, almost two months later, and I’m pretty much back to square one.
TROUBLE IN PARADISE
I always considered us to have a good relationship. We made a pretty good team, but we also remained individuals. She had her likes and dislikes and I had mine, but we respected them. She’d let me listen to the music I wanted to, and in return we’d watch the show she liked. We could spend time together or spend time apart and be content. Even if we were doing separate things in the same room, she’d go about her business and I’d go about mine. But we’d look up once in awhile and smile at each other, and maybe even blow a kiss. I was content and happy. Things were great. Were.
Over the past few months, things have become strained a bit. Our simple carefree relationship was being tested. Maybe it’s the stress of all the changes over the past few months, but someone has become an outright over-opinionated nag.
CULTURE CLASH?
I’ve been taking Ellie to a Japanese school for toddler time once a month for a little while now. I’m an outsider not only because I’m a dude, but also because I’m not Japanese. I know this, and I accept it. I’ve become used to these awkward situations I encounter. They do their best to include me in the group though. They added a picture of a dad next to the mom on the class schedule for the “mom discussion” part of class. And instead of just saying “Okasan (Mother)” when pointing at the picture, they also say “Otosan (Father)” too. I don’t speak Japanese so I never participate in that part of class, but I still appreciate their effort. Anyway, I’ve accepted the awkward two hours as part of my job when raising a bi-lingual child. But sometimes in addition to the language barrier, the cultural differences become so apparent.