Matt Dad Stuff, Inner Monologue

A BAG OF CHIPS, A BURGER, AND A DONUT

I declared that I wanted a Day of Lazy. A day jam packed of doing a whole lot of nothing. I had it all planned out. I prepped the crockpot for dinner the night before so I wouldn’t need to cook. I purchased a bag of Lay’s BBQ chips while grocery shopping this week. I dropped Ellie off at my mom’s in the morning. I stopped at Dunkin’Donuts for a sour cream donut, and at Burger King for a Whopper value meal on my way home. All I needed to do was go home and park myself on the couch and hang out with my best friend; NetFlix… and eat… and nap.

I haven’t had a dedicated lazy day in quite a while. The last time I sat on the couch all day and did nothing was when I was sick. Although it was nice to relax, it’s hard to fully enjoy it when you feel like someone is putting a power drill through your skull and your body feels like you’ve been severely beaten with a sack of door knobs. And since I’m not sick now, I’m especially excited about this. There is just something special about drifting off to sleep on the couch with a pile of potato chip crumbs on your shirt.

So I think I’ll start out with a donut, some coffee, and a few History Channel documentaries to get me started. Next I’ll tackle my burger while watching some movie I’m not super excited about because I’ll probably drift off to sleep. After I wake up I’ll start devouring the bag of chips and a movie I really want to see. Out of the 300+ items in my NetFlix instant streaming queue, I think I’ll find something that’ll fit my mood. Maybe a foreign movie, maybe a coming-of-age tale, maybe a Steven Segal movie, or maybe a historic drama. The possibilities are endless. But one thing for sure is that there will be no dirty diapers, no cooking, no fixing bottles, no bribing a baby to take a nap, and no guilt. It’s going to be a good day.

You know, on second thought, I should get one more donut.

Because I deserve it.

Matt Christmas, Dad Stuff, Holidays, Outings

SANTA and the WIENERMOBILE

I was getting kind of restless being at home and I knew if I didn’t get out, it was going to be a bad day for both me and Ellie. We hadn’t been to the Henry Ford museum in a while so I decided it was time to go back. I’ve been there many times, but I never get sick of it. I love the atmosphere of the museum. It reminds me of my childhood as I walk through looking at all the exhibits. From planes and trains, to historical artifacts like Lincoln’s chair or the Rosa Parks bus, it’s amazing to see American History displayed like that in all the different categories. Now that Ellie is walking, I thought the big open spaces and all the things to look at, big and small, would be entertaining for her.

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Matt Dad Stuff, Poop

WRESTLEMANIA

The recent trend with Ellie and the diaper changing event is that she won’t stay still.  She’ll lie still and quiet while I take the diaper off and wipe up her efforts, but after that, it’s like a pantsless cage match.  I keep mine on.  I think the cool air blowing through her crack makes her start bouncing around like Hulk Hogan.  “Oh yeaaah! Wait until you get into the ring with the Hulkster!”

We always start out on the changing table.  Maybe it’ll be a quick one, I think.  But sure enough, before I can get the new diaper on, she flips over and starts trying to jump off the table.  I try to hold her down but she just keep twisting and flipping like a fish out of water.  So I decide to bring her to the floor, maybe I can tackle her that way.  This for her is an invitation to wrestle.  She tries to flip over and I try to pin her down.  It’s amazing how a ten month old baby is stronger and quicker than I am.  She manages to escape and proceeds to crawl around the room commando and smiling.  She turns around occasionally and gives me a grin that says, “haha!  Try and get me now… You’re no match for me! HAHA!”  I chase her around the room like a farmer chasing a wild chicken.  I try to grab at her feet praying she doesn’t pee on the floor… again.  Finally, I catch her.  I’m able to pin her face down and try to put the diaper on this way.  But she pulls the old flip and kick move.  She’s free again.  She heads for the bookcase and grabs a book.  She seems distracted.  I come up behind her and get the diaper underneath her.  I pull her back towards me and wrap my legs around hers so she can’t kick.  I have one side snapped!  But somehow she wriggles free and escapes!  I need to distract her.  She loves eating her shoes so I put her on her back and give her the shoe.  While holding her down, I change her diaper as quickly as possible.  Yes!  Ding Ding!  Victory!

Now to get her clothes back on.

Round Two… Ding Ding

 

Matt Dad Stuff, Family, Japanese

LOST IN TRANSLATION: THE TOILET GOD

When Aya’s parents were in town we settled into a nice routine. They’d play with Ellie all day, or we’d be out shopping, and then we’d come home for dinner. After dinner, Aya would put Ellie down, and then we’d all meet at the dinner table for dessert and coffee. This is when we’d all chat and catch up. Well, they would chat and catch up. I’d mostly sit there and laugh when they would laugh just so I would feel like I was part of the conversation. But on the last night, I really wanted to actually participate a little more.

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Matt Dad Stuff, Story Time

BUBBLE BURST

We successfully ended our eleven week story time course at the local library.  I’m happy to say that we made every class, Ellie was able to happily mingle with other babies, and I learned the lyrics to Pat-A-Cake.  I’m still working on the lyrics to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star though.  They just don’t flow for me.  Either way, library time was worth it and was a huge success.  Even though this will only be a short break and the next session starts in January, during the last class I looked around the room and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic as I reflected on our past eleven weeks together.

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