I love being in a relationship with such variety. I love being exposed to Aya’s Japanese culture, and she loves being exposed to my American culture with my family’s Polish heritage. We try to raise Ellie, and now Chloe, with a nice mix of both. Blending holiday traditions between two different families is difficult enough, but it can be even more challenging when you’re blending traditions from two different countries with very different cultures.
After sharing how sweet and cute Ellie has been with Chloe so far, I know what you’re probably thinking. “See, I told you the jealousy would set in. The rainbows and unicorns wouldn’t last forever. She’s two and half years old, what did you expect?”
I’d like to say you are right. But I’m not talking about Ellie’s jealously, I’m talking about mine.
Well, the due date has come and gone. And that feeling of “any day now” is starting to fade. We’vebeen trying to relish in our last days as a family of three and cherish the quiet before our house has a new born, but well, we are losing momentum. We’vebeen hanging on a moment too long. Where’s the plunger and the salad spoons? Let’s get this kid out!
Can you believe it? We are just days away from Aya’s due date and not only did I get sick, but so did Ellie. Aw man! This was not part of my PHABing strategy! What about my list!? I still need to clean the oven, dust the picture frames, and buy a diaper champ! Will I get to complete my frenzied disinfectant style cleaning? Will I convince Aya to throw away her collection of Vogue magazines from 10 years ago? Will I have the house perfect for the arrival of our baby?
So far with this pregnancy, I often forget that Aya’s pregnant. I know, I know, it’s been almost 8 months. It’s not that I forgot or don’t care, it’s just that there are so many more distractions than last time. Ellie has me working extra hard these days so I’m not thinking too much, “Hey we’re having a baby soon! Ahh!”
It’s more like, “Eh, been there done that, we’ll be fine. We’ll readjust when the baby arrives.”
I don’t seem to have that fear of the unknown this time. Or do I? Am I holding things in, burying them deep within my subconscious to come out later unexpectedly, in crazy ways, like in my dreams? I guess maybe. I have noticed my dreams getting a little crazier than usual lately. Especially one in particular.
Continue reading “FEAR FACTOR: PREGNANCY AND THE TERMINATOR”
