With Ellie’s birthday excitement over, it’s back to the grind. The same old routine. Wake up, change diapers, feed, eat, pray for a nap, feed, change diapers, feed, cook, wash dishes, repeat. Ugh. January isn’t even over yet and I’m already sick of winter. I’m sick of the winter routine. I’m sick of being cooped up inside. I’m sick of being cold all the time. I’m sick of walking indoors. I’m sick of wrestling Ellie to get her winter hat on that she just takes off ten minutes later in the car. I’m sick of feeling lonely and bored. When it snows, I stare out the window and hear the song All By Myself playing in my head.Â
Maybe it’s the lack of sunshine? Maybe I’m vitamin D deficient? Maybe I should drink more orange juice. My house has windows but the houses on our street are too close together to get much direct sunlight. If I look outside my dining room window, I can look directly into my neighbor’s dining room. If I look out my kitchen window I can look into my other neighbor’s living room. And with it getting dark so early, by the time I start dinner it’s dark outside.Â
With the New Year here, I’m trying to be positive and switch up the winter routine and keep motivated. I’ve started trying to exercise again and moderate the junk food I love to eat. But who wants to do that in the middle of winter? Sometimes just getting out of bed is an accomplishment in the winter. This is perfect weather for sitting on the couch, watching Uncle Buck, and eating a bag of Cheetos while dreaming about a five dollar Hot N Ready for dinner. Why would you want to make any resolutions this time of year?Â
That’s why I think they should move New Years to spring. It makes more sense. Spring is a new beginning, new birth, new growth, the sun is shining and the snow has usually gone. How much more motivated would you be to go for a run or have a salad when you saw the first buds of spring popping through? But no, New Years has to be in January when it’s cold and snowy and all you want to do is drink hot liquid chocolate and eat warm fatty foods. If some guy can add another Zodiac sign, why can’t I change New Years? I’ll call it Polish New Year. (I can say that because I come from a Polish family on both sides of my family.) This year will be the year of the Paczki.Â
So have you made resolutions this year only to break them already? Just forget about it and wait for Polish New Year on April 1st. Until then, find your spot on the couch and grab a blanket, a bag a Cheetos, and the remote control.
I understand your feelings of isolation and loneliness, when Ellie begins to talk, I think you’ll find it a little easier. You’re doing a wonderful thing, Matt. You’ll never regret these days, these years that you have devoted to caring for your baby and making a warm, loving home for your family. “God never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it” Having gone through the entire process, I feel I was given a gift that can never be taken away from me. I have never felt that I should have been doing something else, and I hope you feel the same way when you’re a grandpa.