I just want to let you know that I’m really happy to have you on this journey with me. Â Thank you for letting me keep you safe, to help you grow, and for making me smile. Â It’s such a special honor to be your “home” right now, and I’m really enjoying every minute of it. Â You gave me a big hello this week when you kicked hard enough where mama could feel you from outside my belly. Â I wanted papa to be there with me so badly so he could feel you too, but I guess he’ll get his chance when you’re ready again. Â We both love you so much and can’t wait to meet you!
I have been one giant sappy sack lately. Â I can turn on the water works at any moment as if the movie “Beaches” or “Ghost” were playing on loop permanently in my head. Â I’m one who can cry from a Hallmark or those cheesy diamond commercials so this is potentially dangerous.
During a staff meeting at work one day, I was sitting there rubbing my belly when suddenly I felt a jolt inside my belly. Â Bunnee has been squirming around inside for quite some time, but not strong enough where an outside touch could feel her. Â Except for this time. Â I put my hand on my belly again to see if she would do it again. Â And she did. Â It wasn’t just in my head. Â My hand on my belly clearly felt that little punch. Â I beamed like an idiot, and my eyes started to water. Â There I was, in the middle of a staff meeting totally in my own bubble getting all sappy.
I have been swimming in a deep sense of gratitude.
Gratitude for this pregnancy, gratitude for being in the space to enjoy this pregnancy, gratitude for having a pregnancy that’s been “easy” and healthy, gratitude for the support and love I’m surrounded by from friends and family, gratitude for Matt and Ellie’s love, and gratitude for being present, and having the self awareness.
It is a constant steady stream, and sometimes the waves will gently sweep me away.
One day I had a moment as I was putting Ellie down for her nap and just watched her eyelids get heavier and heavier as our gaze locked onto each other the whole time.Â Finally, they closed and I just stared at her in awe.Â I looked down and saw my belly, looked up and saw her beautiful face and thought to myself “How’d I get so lucky?!”
Cue Bette Midler, and you could’ve made me into a Hallmark commercial right there.